Wednesday, January 13, 2010

American Idol: The march of the serial killers & hopeless nuts

Last night was the first night of American Idol. Coming to us from the city of Boston...and confirming why I am perfectly happy on the west coast.

First up was Miss Muffin Top...a woman who was convinced that because she could win the AI video game that it meant she was to be the next American Idol.

There was the typical blond hippie guy who couldn't sing but would keep "singing as his passion" despite getting told by the judges to stop.

The animai girl...whose own mother rolled her eyes at the thought of her daughter doing well on the show...(then why encourage her you stupid woman)

But the stand out bad performance has to be the guy in the thick glasses and the brown shirt...police should search his apartment for bodies immediately. That guy has "serial killer" written all over his body. He sang "House of the Rising Sun" and even that song came out sounding like a threat. I could picture him drilling the knees of someone strapped to a table while singing it while his previous victims dissolved in vats of acid in his basement.

Were there good singers? Yes. The Jim Morrison guy who broke both his wrists falling out of a tree had a good voice. Also a 16 year old girl who had soulful voice I didn't think it was possible to belong to a white girl. All in all...a very mixed bunch. Tonight they are heading south. Let's see how things go downhill...ahem...I mean improve...from Boston.

Oh Victoria Beckham? Make-up covered stick insect. 'Nuff said.

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